robot jox

If The Dungeonmaster marked the rise of Empire International Pictures, Robot Jox very much represented its twilight. Director Stuart Gordon, having established himself as one of the distribution outfit’s undisputed MVPs (thanks to the likes of Re-Animator, Dolls, and From Beyond), was given the opportunity to helm the company’s most ambitious (and expensive) project to date… a sci-fi action-epic that was clearly inspired by the success of Transformers, but could best be described as a Saturday morning cartoon version of Pacific Rim, infused with the hammy, puffed up Cold War politics of Rocky IV. Unfortunately, Empire proceeded to go bankrupt mid-production (delaying the film’s release by several years), but then some flames are just destined to burn briefly-yet-brightly.

Set fifty years after a nuclear holocaust, the remains of human civilization have effectively been divided between two rival factions - the Market (aka the Americans, or “the West”) and the Confederation (aka the Soviets). Territorial disputes are settled the way God originally intended - via gladiatorial combat between skyscraper-sized robots, operated by special human pilots known as “robot jox.” If you wanted to be a killjoy about it, you could argue that the underlying logic of this premise is fragile at best (where do the supposedly neutral referees originate, for starters?)… and that the world-building contrives the robots onto the battlefield and not a whole lot else (Gordon clearly had little interest engaging with the story’s political ramifications beyond the most perfunctory of surface skims… though it does sound as if screenwriter Joe Haldeman originally harbored deeper ambitions).

But who wants to be a killjoy anyway? Robot Jox is the best kind of pulpy 80s lunacy - bursting with bright colors, archetypal characters, and zesty spectacle. Pilots - the de facto rock stars of this futuristic society - are contractually obligated to complete ten fights (another plot point you just sort of shrug and go with)… and the Confederation’s most dominant champion is Alexander (Paul Koslo), his concrete veins coursing with indomitable Iron Curtain zealotry. His Market counterpart is Achilles (Gary Graham), more of a blue-collar everyman, one who maintains a certain lunchpail-type mentality when it comes to the art of robot joxxing. The two are primed to duke it out on the battlefield over Alaskan trade rights, but a catastrophic turn-of-events results in the match being called a draw. Uninterested in a rematch, Achilles declares his contract complete and embraces retirement (ignoring the ensuing cries of cowardice)… forcing the Market to turn to the next generation of genetically engineered jox, with a driven female pilot named Athena (Anne-Marie Johnson) emerging from the fray.

Robot Jox’s political and social satire isn’t particularly trenchant (you could argue it isn’t even particularly satirical), but there aren’t a lot of movies that express the literal aura of childhood cartoons within a live action framework quite this purely (even Pacific Rim comes up short in that regard). The visual effects are obviously dated, but the film still manages an appreciable sense of scope and scale. Its particular blend of models, practical effects, and stop-motion animation (think ED-209 in RoboCop) has the sort of weight and tactile quality lacking in modern CGI. There’s a goofy glee to the encounters between these mech goliaths, with Alexander somewhat infamously unveiling a phallic crotch chainsaw during the climactic battle. Unfortunately, it would seem the lion’s share of the budget was funneled directly into the robotic spectacle - unlike some of its Empire Pictures brethren (such as Arena or Trancers) that managed impressive levels of immersion, the world of Robot Jox proves relatively austere outside the battlefield. Beyond the hangars, control rooms, and training facilities, its post-apocalyptic civilization has all the depth of a painted backdrop in a Roadrunner cartoon.  ​

Gary Graham (probably best known for playing the lead on the Alien Nation TV series) is the right sort of B-movie actor to drive this type of material - he’s sort of like what you’d get if you started with a base of Harry Hamlin or Peter Gallagher and mixed in a half-dozen or so well-known character actors (a pinch of Miguel Ferrer, a dash of Johnathon Schaech… Paul Koslo, meanwhile, looks like an unhinged cross between John Lithgow and a young Stellan Skarsgard). Graham’s chemistry with Anne-Marie Johnson is just strong enough to give the movie a touch of heat. Stuart Gordon’s career will always remain a bit of a “what if,” given that illness forced him to drop out of directing Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (and his subsequent output never really rivaled his Empire credits)… but he still left behind a bona fide legacy. Staying unapologetically true to its outsized cartoon sensibilities to the very end, Robot Jox gives Rocky IV’s infamous climax a run for its money in terms of sheer emotional absurdity… but its final shot is unbelievably perfect. I can honestly think of few that delight me more.